The last four weeks were my last four weeks in Japan, and as such, they were full of a lot of lasts. My last show, my last travels, my last dinner with my friends, my last days as a twenty year old, my last night in the Seminar House, my last udon, my last gyoza, my last whiff of Japanese air. Though I wrote this at Kansai International airport, there is no internet here, so by the time I post this I will be in the Incheon Airport in South Korea. A quite poetic bookend to the blog, considering my first post was created at Incheon just before I entered Japan. As usual, I will run through what I did to give you all a feel for it, but I don't think I need to go into quite as much detail anymore. It doesn't really matter. I will see everyone who reads this blog soon anyways. I guess I'm writing this post more for me than for anyone else.
There are three weekends I need to write about, it seems. I should begin just before December began, at my last show of the semester. I played again on Friday the 30th at Cafe Istanbul with 外Genius, minus Kaoru who couldn't make it because of some sort of prior commitment. I played a lot of originals and a lot of covers again; by the end I was just doing requests for my friends in the audience out of a giant folder of covers that I know. I broke two strings throughout the course of the show! It was totally rock'n'roll. The show was certainly not as crowded as my first, and that wasn't a great feeling. Many people who said that they would come didn't; I even changed the time to earlier so a group of boys could show up but they didn't. It was slightly disappointing. However, my good friends did come and the space was almost full and I played my heart out for four hours and honestly that's all I could do. I don't regret playing the show at all. It was super fun, and I may even have enjoyed playing for a bunch of close friends more than a bunch of acquaintances.
| Playing at Cafe Istanbul again! |
The following day I went to Arashiyama with my friend Sandy from Wesleyan, one of the ones who came down for my show the Tuesday before. It was raining off and on all day, but that didn't stop the fun! I met a Japanese friend of hers and we walked around looking at the leaves (so pretty!) and the monkeys in the monkey park. Yeah, there's a monkey park. Are you jelly? Yeah, you're jelly. I know you're jelly. We fed the monkeys through some grated windows so they couldn't bite us and just sat outside and watched them for about an hour. It was so nice to see some wildlife! Most of Japan (especially in the Kansai region, where I lived) is very industrialized, so you don't see animals very often, especially not in the quantity that there was in the monkey park. They had really funny red butts.
| Monkey friends! |
That night was her birthday party. We went to a tabe-nomi houdai for a few hours and I met a lot of her friends from KCJS (her program). A few more of my Wesleyan friends were able to make it out as well (Niko and Alex! Yeah!), and we sat together and got to catch up so that was really nice. The night ended with some chu-hai by the river in Kyoto where all the college kids gather on weekend nights before it gets too cold. It was almost too cold, but we were warmed by the beer and the company and spent an hour or two out there laughing and taking pictures and having fun.
The next day I went on a Zen field trip! We got to go to a famous Rinzai Zen temple complex (can't remember for the life of me what it's called) and have a talk, meditation, and some tea with a head monk of one of the smaller temples within the complex. It was wonderful. The priest had grown up in the temple complex and then moved out, went to America, and didn't want to study religion (rebellion?) until something about 9/11 changed his worldview. He is well read in all the Western philosophers and many contemporary Western neuroscientists. He's not an esoteric priest reciting sutras and other mumbo-jumbo all day long. He has a very realistic and practical approach to life, and he seems very down to earth. He doesn't think you can calm you mind completely as Zen tells you to do because neuroscience tells us that we can't. He doesn't believe there are such things as Zen "masters" that are somehow levels beyond everyone else. He just thinks that mindfulness and meditation help out a lot in living, so he practices Zen. Buddhism has always appealed to me for its realism, and this man was a living example that Buddhism can change to fit the times and the facts while still giving spiritual significance to someone.
After that, we went to a jumbo okonomiyaki/yakisoba restaurant just around the corner. Usually portions that are large in Japan are normal for America; normal sized portions are too small for the average American. This was not the case at this restaurant. Three of us (Andrew, Kelsey, and myself) ordered two jumbo yakisobas and one jumbo okonomiyaki for us all. We were almost defeated. That was some serious food! If there had been any more, I might have exploded. It was like Japanese Thanksgiving all over again!
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| Mmmmm mmmmm tasty! |
Since we were already up in the northwest part of Kyoto, we decided to stop into Ryoanji for a but before going home. Ryoanji is very famous for its rock garden. It was beautiful. There are 15 stones in the garden - 15 was seen as a perfect number in ancient Japan because it was the number of nights between a full moon and a new moon. It symbolized the perfection of nature. However, the catch about the rock garden is that you can never see all 15 stones from any angle. This, I believe, represents the inability of human perception to fully grasp the incomprehensible beauty of nature. Maybe I'm reading a little bit too much into it. It was absolutely beautiful, though. Why would I want to look at a few rocks for half an hour? I don't know. I don't think it's just because it is famous. Something about them is captivating. I am sure several monks have attained enlightenment from the sight I saw.
PICTURE OF RYOANJI
The next weekend was full of dinners with my friends. Finals were the next week, so people began leaving right after they were done. That weekend (the 7th-9th) was the last time everyone was going to be together. Risto had several of us over to his apartment for a takopa/housewarming party (Japanese slang for a takoyaki party - takoyaki is a delicious octopus ball made with pancake mix). A grand time was had by all, although it was a little too whisky-infused to talk too much about in this setting. The next night about 25 of us from my Seminar House went out to an all you can eat/drink for our "last dinner" - our Seminar House only has 60 people, so those people that want to be a part of the community can easily be a part of it. I will miss them all dearly. The food was delicious, mostly chicken teriyaki skewers and salads and other fried things. As per usual in Japan, the drinks were watered down, but honestly I was OK with it because I was still slightly groggy from the takopa. Those of us who had been at Risto's house the night before did not drink as heavily as everyone else at the final tabe-nomi houdai.
Sunday was the final Seminar House party - a few us us made nabe (delicious! gosh, look it up right now!) for the whole seminar house. Chie, Yurika, Ayumi, Midori, Jenny, and I all worked for probably two hours at the stove making 8 pots of nab simultaneously. We ate SO MUCH FOOD. All 8 pots adjust broth left; we then filled up 6 of them with noodles we had bought for the second course and so much more meat (because we had so much meat). Everything was finished. Wow! You go, Seminar House 1! Oh, and we ate two tubs of ice cream. Jeez. It was so fun to cook for so long with my friends; we've cooked together before but nothing like that. We were working!
Then finals hit, and it kind of sucked for a little while, but I did well on them all and wrote a 20 page paper about the differences in the right method of acting between Daoism and Zen Buddhism so I feel good about myself. They were finals. Whatever. They're over. Also my roommate moved out on Friday! It was awesome. I really disliked him; I hardly even know why. I loved having the rom to myself instead of waking up to him playing Warcraft every day. He was always click-clicking away on his computer and it irked me to no end. Like, dude, go out and experience Japan! What are you doing inside? Do that when you get home!
On Friday, I took my first and last trip to Kobe. It was nice, but not as nice as Kyoto or Osaka or Nara. If you have a short time in Japan and are going to be in Kansai, go to those other cities before you go to Kobe. In fact, spend 4 days in Kyoto before you go to Kobe. It's worth it. However, there was a very famous illumination in Kobe that we went to see that commemorated the Kobe earthquake of about ten years ago. It was very very beautiful. As with Nabana no sato, it was super crowded, but as with Nabana no sato, I hardly realized it because I was busy looking up the whole time. Also, it is worth it to go to Kobe for the beef. We went to a nice restaurant in Kobe for the beef because while we were in Kobe we had to have Kobe beef, right? One of the best decisions of my time in Japan. Damn, was it expensive, but DAMN, was it good. It is by far the best beef I have ever had in my life. So juicy, so flavorful, so tender, so everything. God damn. My mouth is watering right now just thinking about it and I ate brunch an hour ago. Words can't do it justice, so I'll try a picture. Just take my word for it: if you go to Kansai, get some Kobe beef.
| Look at that marbling. Just look and marvel. You wish you had some, huh? Ha! |
On Saturday I went back to Nara with some people who had never been before. As before, I fed the deer and went to Todaiji to see the Daibutsu. I did do some other things, though! There were two museums of a sort that I went to after most everyone else had decided to go home. The first was connected with Todaiji and the second was connected with Kofukuji. Nara was the capital of Japan in the 7th century. During that time, the Buddhist sects centered in Nara gained an enormous amount of power in politics and life in general in Japan (to the extent that a Buddhist priest almost became emperor!) and there was a ton of Buddhist art from the period in each of the museums. It was amazing to see wood carvings that had been preserved for 1200 years, each portraying something that I knew immediately upon sight. Some of them seem like they could have been made in the last thirty years. I think some of those images will be with me for a very long time, especially the giant wood statue of Kannon and the wooden ashura in the Kofukuji temple.
Saturday night was a birthday party for my friend Chie, who lived in the Seminar House with me. We went to nomihoudai (as per usual). She turned 19, I think, but her ID says she's turning 21 so who really cares. It was good to have another night out with my friends, and good to give Chie some love. She's a totally zany Japanese girl, and let me tell you, that is a very very rare thing. She apparently has studied in Australia and lived in Europe for 6 months. I think that's why she's not as restricted as some of her strictly Japanese counterparts. She constantly complains that she's not "cute" enough - the culture of cuteness is overwhelming in Japan. If you're a girl, it's cute or bust. Chie is not typical Japanese cute. She is awesome and zany and weird and I love her for it, but sometimes she gets down on herself because she can't or doesn't conform. Isn't that a strange thing for an American to read? Being sad because you CAN'T conform? It's nearly unfathomable for me. I make a point to be weird and out of the box at all times. As the old saying in Japan goes, "the nail that sticks out gets hammered down." I stick out; I would get hammered down. Chie sticks out too, but maybe she won't get hammered down and will stay zany forever. I hope so.
| Good ol' zany Chie!! |
And that brings us into the last week. Classes are over, people began to leave, the Seminar House began to feel more like a ghost house, and I spent a lot of time cooking and traveling and saying goodbye to the people I love.
By Monday a few of my friends had left, but not the two that I called Mom and Dad all semester. Seriously. There was a couple, 28 and 30, that lived in my Seminar House. A few of us young-uns have been calling them Mom and Dad for about three months. Sometimes we have family outings. Anyways, Mom and Dad took me and Jen (another family member!) out for lunch on the 17th as a birthday present because they were leaving the next day. It was wonderful to have a meal with just them - despite the difference in our ages, we all get along really well. Both of them are fairly artsy, and I have always felt like I get along better with them than with many other people I have met in Japan. Vicky (Mom) has a place on the beach in Florida and I'm thinking of going down to her place for half of Spring Break! Nice! Tim (Dad) might even be there! That night, ben and my birthday celebration began. Ben also lives in my Seminar House and has the same birthday as me, both 1991. We have styled ourselves long-lost twins all semester - obviously he's a part of the family. I went with Mom and Dad and Jen and twins Ben to Kappa Sushi for a birthday dinner. It was so tasty! A real family outing. I paid this time. Felt better about myself, being a real man and shit. I ate tons of maguro sushi and salmon sushi - it's amazing that the sushi is so good for $1.40 a plate! God, I'm going to miss that in America.
After that, it was another night at Doma Doma for some nomihoudai. I mean, what better way to turn 21 than drunkenly? Probably 15 people showed up for the party, which was nice as I was only expecting ten. We had just been there on Saturday, and the same waiter was working. He was so surprised to see us! He remembered what I had been ordering all night before and just brought me one. What a guy! His name is Tendai. We became friends that night. My friend Tomoki was one of the people that showed up (really grateful for that, too! He had class the next day!). Mom and Dad came too, which also meant a lot because they had to be moved out by 9:30 the next morning. Dad convinced Mom to "just go for an hour" at dinner - the ended up being there for about three. I love em, man. I really do. We played a game for a lot of the night that involved someone writing a random noun (started as people and eventually got weird) on a napkin, sticking it on someone else's forehead, and then the person trying to guess what it was with yes or no questions. I got one in three questions once! I was so proud. The queries and responses were as follows:
"Am I a person?"
"Yes!"
"Am I famous"
Everyone: "YES!!!"
"Am I Jesus?"
"Wow, that's pretty damn impressive…"
Highlights of the evening included: "Seminar House Okaasan," "salmonella," "consumerism," "Tennessee's dad (multiple answers acceptable)," "Ayumi's boobs (Ayumi is Ben's girlfriend here)," "a unicorn's penis." It took me lot as long as you would expect to get "unicorn's penis." We must have played for four hours.
| Daddy as Donkey Kong. |
The best part about the evening was that at the end I was the champion. Many people had left, one girl had vomited on her way to the bathroom (rookie!) and Jen and Jackie had gone to clean it up because the girl could not herself. Risto, Chie, Ayumi, Larae, and Julia were all passed out on the couches around me. Ben and I were the only two men standing (or sitting as it were. We were finishing everyone else's drinks that they had left - it was our birthday, after all).
| Ben and myself surveying the wreckage. The last men standing! Observe the people passed out behind us. |
And the best part about all of that? He was blackout! I am the only one who remembers it! I am the champion! I win at 21st birthdays.
The next day I said goodbye to Mom and Dad. It was really sad to see them go but I'm confident we will meet again. Tim has a place for me to stay in Holland and Vicky has a place for me to stay in Florida and I have a place for them to stay in the Bay! What could go wrong? We will meet again. I remember looking at Ben as they were pulling away in the cab and saying something like "Wow, instead of kicking us out of the house when we turned 21, they kicked themselves out. This is kind of weird… Like, OK, you're adults, have fun with your lives now kids!" Very strange, very poetic.
Tuesday was my birthday! But I didn't really do a lot. I had celebrated almost all day the night before and I was a little spent. That being said, that night I went back to Shinsaibashi for some last minute shopping. It did feel a little weird to spend my money on my family on my birthday, but you know what? I love you guys and I am happy to say that part of my summer was spend working to get you things. You all have done so much for me, and I need to begin to return the favor. Plus, what's a birthday anyways? It's just another day.
On Wednesday I went back into Kyoto with Jen and Chie. We went to Ginkakuji, the sister temple of Kinkakuji. Kinkakuji had been built by Ashikaga Yoshimasa; Ginkakuji was built by his grandson or great-grandson Ashikaga Yoshimitsu (thanks Dr. Hlwatsch!). Apparently he sat in the grounds and contemplated the beauty of the gardens while Kyoto burned around him during the Onin War (a War over a succession struggle which Yoshimitsu sort of created!). It's almost Nero-esque.
| I went to Ginkakuji see everyone! It's not just a story it's real life! |
In any case, he had good reason to contemplate the beauty; the temple is absolutely beautiful. I had never been and it was great to get in a quick trip before I went home. The week (starting with Kobe) was spent doing the things I had wanted to do but hadn't had time to. Ginakakuji was one of those. That same day, Chie took us to a shop in Kyoto that sells macha everything. Don't know what macha is? Look it up. It's a special Japanese tea made of powdered tea leaves (very high quality) that you stir with a whisk. It's super super super good, and it is incredibly hard to find good macha outside of Japan. I needed some more in my system before I left. And, indeed, I got it. All three of us shared a macha udon and macha ice cream; I had never had green noodles before. It looked strange but tasted delicious. You could actually taste the macha in the noodles. That seems obvious, but it was certainly a jolt in the mouth, as it were. And for dinner we went back to tomato ramen! Tomato ramen is maybe my favorite restaurant in Japan. Maybe that's the Italian in me.
| Macha udon! Who has eaten green noodles? This guy! |
Thursday I didn't real do anything all day except pack and cook. How boring! However, at night we all gathered for a movie and a few people surprised Chie, Ben, me, and Sakura (whose birthday is the 22nd) with some birthday donuts. Everyone who was at the Seminar House still (maybe 12 people or so?) sang for us. It was so nice! I really loved everyone I lived with. I'm so glad that I stayed in Seminar House 1 instead of a homestay. Instead of only knowing one Japanese family (who I may or may not have liked!), I got to know really great people from all over the world who hopefully I can remain in touch with and visit when I travel! I do plan to travel a lot - maybe use this blog again! - and having friends in many places is an unexpected benefit of this semester abroad.
And Friday was my last day to do anything. I went up with a few friends to a very famous flea market that is held on the 21st of every month in Toji temple in Kyoto. The one in December is the biggest one of the year. And, damn, it was huge. We got lost. Even with huge temples and pagodas to help us find our way, we got totally lost. We walked around for three hours without really retracing our steps. I bet at any one time there were between seven and ten thousand people there, and throughout the day maybe even seventy or one hundred thousand. It was unbelievable. And there was so much random crap! Buddhist figures, udon, old airsoft guns, masks, coins from the Edo period, action figures, vegetables, takoyaki, cups and plates, teapots, comics, pins, swords, clothing, literally everything you can think of was probably at this flea market in one form or another. I once looked down while talking with my friends about a gift I had just bought and noticed we were standing almost directly over a bucket of porno. It was uncensored, too! How strange for Japan.
| Maybe 1% of the flea market at Toji. Maybe less. |
And on Friday I said goodbye to Ben, who is off to Korea and Tokyo for winter break before coming back to Kansai Gaidai for the next semester. I'm gonna miss my twin, man. But he goes to school/lives in Pennsylvania so I bet that we'll cross paths again. I hope so.
And on Saturday I packed some more, at all the rest of my food, moved out of the Seminar House, and stayed in a hotel in Hirakata before taking the 6:30 am bus to the airport this morning. I walked around the station once before going to bed, just to say goodbye I guess. i have spent a lot of time around there, and a lot of money on the Keihan going to and from Hirakata. It's strange that it will be some time before I see it again, if I see it again at all. I said goodbye to a lot of things on the bus. Goodbye Kansai Gaidai, goodbye Hirakata, goodbye Engrish, goodbye to good cheap ramen, goodbye gyoza, goodbye Japanese kimchi, goodbye nikuman, goodbye beer vending machines, goodbye vending machines everywhere, goodbye crowded trains and buses, goodbye squeals of "kawaiiiiii," goodbye to so many things I can't even count them all. It's very bittersweet to go home. Obviously I want to see my family again, see my friends, fall back into the patterns that keep me happy. I want to eat at my favorite restaurants and see the Golden Gate Bridge and walk around the Headlands. And God knows I can't wait to get back to Wesleyan and see the homies that I have been seriously missing for almost eight months now.
But there's another side to the coin as well. How will I remember this time in Japan? What will I make it? Is it going to be like a long dream that I sometimes look back on and smile about? Will I regret leaving for the rest of my life? Am I coming back? Will I see these people again? Who will I remain friends with, and who will fall by the wayside of my life as so many other passing acquaintances have done before? What did it mean? Am I making the right choice, coming home? I will miss Japan in a serious way, I think. These past few months have been some of the best of my life and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I think I changed. I hope I did, anyways. That was part of the reason I came here.
Americans are generally too loud, too self-centered, too unwilling to compromise and be slightly uncomfortable for the greater good. Japanese people, in my experience, are too shy and afraid to express themselves, to apologetic, and too willing to sacrifice themselves and their identity for the greater good. As I said before, in Japan, "the nail that sticks out gets hammered down." You don't want to stick out in Japan. You want to be as unnoticeable as possible, especially if you are a woman, and sometimes that makes me sick. I want to scream, "Express yourself! You can't honestly be as bland as you seem!" and then I realize that somehow I am not getting it or being culturally insensitive or something so I hold my tongue. And sometimes I just want a roll of duct tape to use on the bus in America because that one asshole about the most inane things you can imagine in the loudest voice he can. The cultures are different, and I hope my time here will allow me to walk more of the middle path. That was my goal, in any case.
Overall, I am happy with how I spent my time here. I wish I had gone to a real onset for a weekend, and I wish that I had gone up to Hokkaido or down to Okinawa for a spell, or even over to Korea or Taiwan. But I didn't, and I will have to live with that. I explored Kyoto and Osaka extensively, spend a weekend in Tokyo, spend a weekend near Nagoya, and took a few day trips to Nara and Kobe. I started a band and played three shows with them. I made friends from all over the world, and a few especially close ones, and I made friends with a number of Japanese people too. I suspect I will not forget these people. I got good grades. I learned to cook pretty well. I wrote some songs in Japanese. My Japanese is currently very very conversational; I can often understand what people are saying on the bus or train around me. It's very funny to hear them talking about me and then just put in a little interjection to let them know that I understand. The looks on their faces are priceless. Basically, I did Japan right. I traveled every weekend and tried not to spend a full day in my room. I lived life to the fullest that I could and I am very happy about that. I don't think I will look back on my time in Japan with regret about how I spent my time here; the only thing I might regret is that I didn't spend more. But I don't even think that's true. I can come back if I want; I probably will. I'm just glad it was so great. I hope this isn't some crazy dream I'm having on the plane to Seoul that I will wake up from in a few hours. It sort of feels like it was. But, honestly, I'd be unhappy if my life in Japan felt normal to me. I wanted to live outside my comfort zone, and I did.


